Absolute

i have to bear in silent

live

the true infinity has no cardinal without limit without return

it is supreme bliss joy for ever

all is joy and only joy and only joy and only joy

endless shower of joy

joy joy joy

infinite joy in all dimension

devoid of any shades or grades of superior inferior variety of joy

infinite supreme joy

সব আমার পরম আনন্দ

how long can I stop my self being drowned infinite attraction supreme joy that has stripped me of all my possession only left is me
i m surrounded by infinite joy

how long can i deny myself from sinking in bliss
i m struggling for survival
i do not know how to give in
i struggle till my last breath

No i don't have to die

all my past all memories are supreme bliss
all my possible future all expectations of the same is supreme bliss
all my perception of my present is the supreme bliss

i live in bliss supreme pure and infinte

আনন্দ

জগত ভালো সর্বসময় কোথাও কখনো কোনো খারাপ নেই কোনো খারাপের সম্ভবনা নেই
আমার প্রসংসা বা অপ্রসংশা করার কেও নেই কিছু নেই

আমার সব আনন্দ
সবের সবকিছু  সব সময় আমার আনন্দ
আমি আনন্দ
কূলহীন আনন্দ আমার চির নিবাস

সব সময়

আমার সব কিছু

সব ভাবনা সব দেখা সব করা 

সব না দেখা সব না ভাবা সব না করা

আমার আনন্দ

আমি যা ভাবি তাই আমার আনন্দ 

আমি যা করি তাই আমার আনন্দ 

now

now is past
now is future
now is the appearance of its creator
now is all

identity

place is here
time is now
i can't ask for change
nothing can be changed
all is as is
I must see and i must be allowed to see

no grief
no happiness
no boredom
no frustration
no anger
no fear

I must disappear without word
I must not prevent

creator is creation
actual is virtual

indivisible
identity

inconclusive

i can't attribute any success i may have is entirely due to me.
It was done by all but me
Even this piece of writing is not by me
i do not wish to take any claim as mine
i m just a hypothesis
entirely virtual
all is my hypothesis entirely virtual
actual has no word
only presence
it is my identity
nothing ever happens that is is not 100% done by him
it is not ever my will that is written on virtual wall
after my death in virtual
actual shall continue to write in virtual wall
it is impossible to prevent him
once written it can't be rewritten
it is always new without any previous

i m very upset
soham has gone without any warm clothing
he has not taken his cell
i can do nothing
even i being upset

rabindranath wrote 'se'
i have not read it
but heard many incaranation of the same
lila majumdar
budhdeb dasputa
thokon thakur
it may (not) appear in virtual
i have option to (not) wait

ink

what is the ink i write with?
what is my pen?
it is not blood it is nothing that is visible out side me
it is very internal and personal only me has it
i draw all  with this ink
it flows continuous non stop
it draws everything everyone
unless it is drawn in this ink i can't see anyone or anything
nothing exist otherwise it has to be drawn in this ink for me to see
i have draw it

all is personal composition of me for any to exist
none can enter my world without a passport drawn by me
i am so choosy

i have draw my admirer
i have draw my abusers
i have draw all for them to exist

ink is neuron
i do not know

private

I am incapable of preventing anything with my behavior thinking saying and doing.

Can I be partial?

Is there any reason for earth spinning?

gravity?

light?

life?

গৃহস্তকে  বলি সজাগ খাক
চোরকে বলি চুরি কর
পুলিসকে বলি চোরকে ধর
ডাকাতকে বলি গুলি কর
জজকে বলি বিচার কর
ঈশ্বরকে বলি ক্ষমা কর
আমার করার কিছু নেই
আমার কিছু নেই
আমি অবান্তর
আমার কোনো অধিকার নেই
আমার বাচবার বা আমাকে রাখবার কোনো উপায় নেই

আমি, আমি ভাবি যা আমি তাই
তুমি, আমি ভাবি যা তুমি তাই
সে, আমি ভাবি যা সে তাই
আমার ভাবনা চির অস্থির

আমি নেই ভাবনার বাহিরে এবং চির স্থির

one thing appears permanent
destructive nature of nature
its selection for procreation
the preference of survivors
the absence of tomorrow and yesterday
yet there is history and its recording even in the sky

permission

I have permission to see but not say think or do

I don't have to see

I have to see me what I am saying, thinking, or doing

I am watched by almighty

all

all all all is allowed to do anything nothing going to exceed now

all all all can do nothing unless it is explicitly allowed by now

all all all is empty space

impossible

I can't jump out of here and now

[i am partially visible camera man in a 360 degree fish eye photo of 'now' i can't have greater presence or lesser absence]

i m skinned alive layer after layer of me with tears shame fears angers flowing out

i am pasted in here and now

i can't protest

I have to wait till i vanish in the pyre of now

i am absent always

i can change none and nothing

enjoy

i enjoy
i enjoy my unhappiness as it is for ever
i enjoy my happiness as it is now and ever

absolute

my mother used to say one cant be a king without seeing a king

i say one can't be absolute without seeing an absolute

i have seen an absolute i m destined to be absolute

i am absolute

how many became absolute after seeing the same i m talking about

how many in his life time he created absolute

enough to keep the universe just now

at least absolute he created me

absolute

he has no need

he can attract people from many thousand miles tucked in some far corner of the world and make it appear all is accident

i was given one glimpse and a few words

i m changed forever

i can't have need

how long shall i have need

i m absolute

i challenge universe to displace me if his the power to eliminate me

he walks couple of miles climbs a hill bare footed to excrete in a secluded place in privacy at dawn before sun rise he is completely bare except six square inches of cloths covering his private parts

he takes bath in ice cold high velocity stream cleans his piece of cloths with soap

collects his letters

observes sun rise and attends to his duties answering questions asked

he has his bed of two blankets no pillow in a box

he has a steel tumbler earthen water pot pot of ink a pen a nail cutter a kerchief and loin cloth

he was there when I saw him 1978 he came then to meet me he vanished before 2000 when I came to meet him

iamindivisibleunionofall

watch

incredible

I have a watch
no
watch have me
it is incredibly accurate
never loses a moment
it is always now
it is incredibly durable
no metal in anywhere in the universe is as durable
it is incredibly dimension-ed
it is lesser than Euclidean point
it is incredibly crafted to hold all applications of the universe
it is incredibly source it energizes all the source of energy yet needs no charging
it is incredibly familiar
all is forced to see it all the time

indispensable

it controls every aspect of me
i forget what i have to forget
i remember what i have to remember
i eat what i have to eat
i drink what i have drink
i talk what i have to talk
i have to vomit what i have to vomit
i have to think what i have to think
i have to see what i have to see
i have to do what i have to do

i can't be rebel

impossible

it is invisible but lit the universe

visible

indra

with thousand sensors i am hugging earth
all my muscles are straining
i must quit
it is unbearable pain on my muscles
unbearable activity of my brain
devising algorithms to extend my tenure some how

encircled by future
i have no future
in my world

or

any other world

what a failure for one who set out as an rebel
the part is clear
it is happening
i must die since I have no future

the symptoms of death are:
bad taste
bad health
bad look
bad memory
bad intellect
bad wealth

no future - i can't foresee-ably extended beyond today
but i looking for a come back tomorrow with the help of almighty's backing
but i have no reason why an exception shall be made for me
when my lot is already decided
I have to face the burial
as is

ignorance

it is long long time that i left chasing knowledge in the conventional ways of university that proposes universality
i am chasing ignorance
just born's approach to knowledge without any learning but purity to consider all data write or wrong selective to make device
robot

for example I am going to introduce a robot in mars

what is mars' gravity terrain

how many pods or lifters automation should have
position of automation and control
failure recovery system
recovery of control
sub-controller to repair control
Repairable pods or limbs
Glue
Energy accumulation utilization
self duplication
optimization

poverty elimination

result

Result I know
my total freedom of doing and not doing
my present is paradise
I have no future
I don't have to talk
I don't have to move
I do not have to count
I have no resistance
I am floating
i am untouchable
I am final without legacy
all my deeds are final and without result
i do not have to talk think or do
i do not have to repeat ever

i love and express my love
whatever I get is love and expression of love

how far am i away

glimpse of paradise and its presence I see several times in a day
then again i hear heart beat
i taste my distaste
I am in a desert and seeing illusion of mirage
i am thirsty
i shall get water before i die but each moment is torture
it is fear of death before water quenching my thirst

what is that mirage
truth but i can't live up to that

i am god
what ever i think say and do is right
and i can never do otherwise
what ever I see is paradise
it can't be otherwise

Hindu mythology talks about paradise - a stable state
any one not harmonious in stable state false off into a net
maya
illusion of movement or instability
it can't really cure itself so easily
hallucination and and memory of paradise both frequently visitor

repair is complete when one again is god and resident of paradise among all gods

nothing has really changed except one is cured of hallucination

hallucination is nothing but a simulation run by one to predict success while it is not possible to simulate paradise

paradise has one rule of nonce
it never repeats itself but carries all in it without eliminating any or rather by eliminating all its moments are absolute but perceived differently for anyone engaged in hallucinating (carrying out simulation)

i do not have to make this any more clear than what paradise is

theory of nothing is its practice

gear

when the whole world has transformed into teethed clock wheels and gears due to my vast knowledge
there is a space within heart is well oiled nothing untouched
where i can only enter
by becoming nothing

i can't stop this constant clock work
there is no place for me

wrong

there is nothing wrong since nothing of that kind can happen
all is always right
ebola
isis
chhorda's untimely demise
my bad taste
soham's job
did's cancer
chhordi's selfishness
joya's lies

inside

I wear a crown of thorn inside my head
they are my dislikes
among other it is complete distaste for food
only thing i love is plain water with ice
if that too becomes distasteful
i have to die without water

then this horrible take over of world isis

the crown of thorn has developed under my skull
i am engulfed in it completely
i shall never know a moment of peace
hopeless living can't even patiently wait of death

rebel

i m rebel of all rebels
singleton
one hundred percent
unstable
living among all
conspicuously
non-conforming
i m resilience to all without exception
I do not make any adjustment to adapt
i m absolute automation never repeat and incalculable
even when i m boxed in iron chest without hole and thrown down volcano or ejected in space or thrown in ocean

i m incurable
i survive

belief

assumption or faith
I do not have to believe assume or faithful
Still I am
At the center of the world it is me
It is not my belief
it continues to be there and is there as long as i have consciousness
it goes linear goes any manner but it is central to my world and i see world going around me
i also go into simulated drive in my dream
like last night
I went into my selfish way to involve all to fetch money from a person little known to me to achieve my end
and i could not stop myself

I wonder my origin
earth or some out of unknown and never known kernel of universe
logic does not apply
any hypothesis is ok as good

I am incurably sick
I am not assumption while any assumption is mine
I am not explanation or derived out of logical conclusion
I am incomparably attractive all is joined to me by my power of attraction and goes around my axis without any scope of their liberation ever
It is too much an effort to keep all separated they are all together a ball or perhaps a point rotating or spiraling around me with no scope of any other existence
time to time it disappears in my without existence
contrary to belief time too has no existence and my assumption
sometime point void line or circle or any other visual object like doughnut

i m irrational the only irrational in the world and remain so without any other example

i have no option but in always in-confident and in the tinker-hook what is in store just now
whether i m already busted and never to see me again

i can't achieve any goal or aim

i m truly incapable

my genius shall remain undiscovered
since there is none is created

instead of an unknown calling all shots and taking nanosecond and nano-millimeter departure from universe course

i like to have faith on an absolute automaton that has a simple rule of nonce - take that option that was never taken

thinking

I am thinking and that I can do.
I sleep. I dream though I wish I do not. Like many things it is not in my control.
I have two choices but both of them unbelievable - I am absent and I am all by action.

The third option I am thinking is not trying to stop any process any one that includes me.

In other words how do I align with anything or anyone without being critical.

I can't be since I am a robot - I can't teach myself to be aloof immobile and mute and let my thoughts go past me without shaking me.

mute

I just can't say anything

• the person i am talking to is me - identity
• i as such don't exist and it is true
• truth is i don't enough even when I observed it for entire life - e.g. Sun or my palm
• i have nothing better to offer
• my words disturbs peace
• i am dream
• all is my dream

supreme

I must be me - I am all without exception - in silence and without movement - there must not be a hair separating me from any - all is my identity - there is no identifiable me in particular

I am supreme and I do not have any other identity

dream

I dream often.

When I wake it remains some moments to rediscover me.

That me is lower than what I assume to be.

It is an eye opener.

I become reduced in size.

One step towards my extinction.

Unlike all thinking I can't simply assume man woman interaction caused my birth. All knowledge acquired by my life time of experience. But what about the absorb-er or accumulator ia it body or part of the body.

It perhaps not - I in my dream is not my body. It is an identification with activity witnessed by its eye and extrapolation done by brain. Both being part of body assuming they are interaction of two beings.

I deride my thinking since by now I know it is insane machine. It is capable of deriving anything from anything.

I am fascinated by thought that I originated outside universe. I chose to inhabit a baby in womb. I am more than human being.

In the dream I was going over the surface of earth and seeing most disturbing changes on its surface. Nothing is in isolation it is caused by earth itself.

My focus shifted to earth.

It is live and has its mind to drape itself as it feels like with color atmosphere with organisms and land as it pleases. It further traps celestial bodies as it pleases but it is unlike any of them.

It came outside universe and it created the universe with its designers mind. It nurtured sun moon milky way galaxies nebula however many I or we identify.

If there is earth of similarity - I do not know - if there is then it different universe -

I can't dream not while I m on earth.

I am thoroughly planned and designed many earth years ago microscopically to enhance its surface for purpose only known to her.

why isis?

only she knows

it is dream no lesson learn except me is part of the illusion or dream

prevent

divine

my presence

my perceptions

my imaginations

my dreams

my silence

my absence

my expressions

my knowledge

all is without exception including this unpredictable uncontrollable irreversible continuous eruption of words thoughts actions perceptions and feelings from imperceptible

I am helpless

why

write

I have been diligently been writing for over 40 plus years my innermost thoughts

Today I got up surrounded my people and though when fear would engulf me - some eminent expected loss

days before I have understood in detail that can be loss for me - any loss is my gain

I am surrounded by me alone and no body else

I may call them hubris

them and me go away at the same instance and they appear with me at the same instance

I do not exist

I need supports since I do not exist

My supports are my beliefs and they are baseless

as much as I am baseless

soon enough I reminded myself I am absent

I got up from sleep announcing to myself I am

I knew all along I am absent while in sleep

I literally has one and only meaning

absent

where do I do from there

Yudhisthir too asked the same question

when he was absolutely without support

answer to go back to supports

he did go and witnessed first hand his own suffering from his own support

hell

he no longer can't be supported

I diligently wrote about every intimate thought candidly

if any ever is reading this would recognize one's own self discovery

support-less that remotely supports unverse

me

I am very fat. My composition:

Outer most layer is sky

world

Mind

Collection of people: This strange most of preoccupation is my iddle thinking what any thinks about me. Perhaps none has time to think about me but they are themselves preoccupied with thinking what others are thinking about her or him. This is about unstoppable for me. I keep thinking any act of mine how it is acceptable laudable or damnable by any. I hide me, do not communicate, remove many of my communication because I think it is not acceptable in their value system!!! It so happens me in my perception, my writings, and them in my perception - they are all one and the same - they are the same KHOTE SIKKA i.e. without any value or substance. In a very slow motion I saw a person who is part and parcel of my daily life totally composed by me without no prior knowledge!!!

memory

Time

beliefs

logic Induction and deduction and Test

body

sense
-----

The axis on which all the above settled on a hypothesis me that is none of them. It is far durable so that the hubris could collect on it.

That makes hubris nothing other than me

I tried cut the hubris with mental sword again and again but sword just gets wear down never tries to remove entire non-sense without any better word I call this FALSE

My sharpest intellectual sword is I AM ABSENT

This can't wear out ever but it gets reduces as I reduce in size

Problem is how I wear it all the time

I must stand on it all the time.

I AM ABSENT is my intellectual basis

while my intellect is based on truth

base that has no other base - this is the ultimate my intellect can reach

my intellect can deduce SOMETHING IS NOT ME can't be true and is time independent

MY LOSS IS MY GAIN is true

hubris float around there is no collector no gravitation pull or push

[in the sky]

game

there are three entities:
creator created annihilator supported
Creator creates an agent fires to created - that can be annihilated or reach created. if reaches created it will create one or many with agents power. Each created sends request to creator for further creation (# ). Request if received by annihilator it might kill created (#) instead.

Theorems

The greatest theorem that I have come across and took me many decades to prove is :

All without exception is me entirely me. All is false creation of me the truth and only truth.
[all includes all bad all good all pleasant all unpleasant all feelings all doings all thought all perception.....]

All events are structured in time and space; events make time and space

This has many corollaries:

Nothing uncertain ever happens

Events if any can't be mutated - changed delayed or modified by any or all

A successful event or failed event both are divine outcome that could never be otherwise

An event is synonymous or meaning or appearance of creator

There is nothing random or non-random event.

Universe is as is and can't be explained nor explained.

NOW is the appearance of THE creator in reality in flesh and blood

NOW IS SUFFICIENT AND NECESSARY

NOW IS INDEPENDENT OF EVERY OTHER MOMENT IN PAST OR FUTURE

NOW IS NOW AS IS CANT BE EXPLAINED NOR EXPLAINED

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO CREATE PREVENT MODIFY FUTURE 
[for any or all for short or long term]

Comments:

good or bad about theorem they are eternal

they never age and die  with world

they came as soon as world came into be and shall remain till its end - it is sucked to vanish lock stock and barrel that was before the world.

the blower and sucker and world are all coexisting - blower meets an world entity it creates many, sucker meets entity it sucks it off

I can think off a game far simpler than Conway's game.

Theorems do not change the world nor changes anybody in the world UNLESS:
I am absent.

FIRST STEP:
PERCEIVE ALL WITHOUT EXCEPTION AS THEY ARE WITHOUT FURTHER CONTEMPLATION.


LAST STEP:
I am not required to think or do now or ever for me. All is me (no undesirable no desirable or not me) and it is already done and can't be reversed. I have nothing to communicate.

mathematics

Mathematics has no existence beyond my mind it is not shared by nature. If I see mathematics in nature law it is my fault since i am addicted.

There is nothing called loss for me that is so important since I am most important man in the world. There is no other world.

Loss for me is gain for my world in many folds. Again the mathematics for me to chose.

All in the world is me again no mathematical stipulation but see true. Can't be expressed in mathematics.

Infinite is as such zero. This can't be mathematics either. But it is again observed truth.

Truth can't be expressed in language of mathematics since it is not belief.

Control

I must be under total control NOW

I must not say think or do NOW no matter what happens to me physically financially mentally

I must be unmoved and silent NOW

I KNOW ABOUT NOW WHAT I AM DOING - NOTHING AND I AM READY TO DIE DOING NOTHING WITHOUT A SIGH OR MOVEMENT NOW. 

I AM UNDER TOTAL CONTROL OF ME NOW EVEN IF I FAILED IN PAST ENUMERABLE TIMES.

I DO NOT KNOW ABOUT FUTURE WHAT I AM GOING TO DO IN MY NEXT MOMENT.

I am free to do as I please without care of loss or gain to me or anybody.

I AM SUPREME.

silence

In finite that I see everywhere I am infinite since they vanish altogether in encounter with me

I am in possession of infinite strength to keep the world in motion and let the world disappear without lifting a single hair in my body by the power of my mere will.

I am able to perceive all without exception as they are and do nothing. I exercise my will only without a word without moving, now, despite all  - loss pain suffering without hope and time for recovery.

I am incapable of communicating with words or body or action.

Silence is my acceptance speech

I realize today just now that there is no support for me and I can't expect any support in future.

It does not matter how deep is my pain and feelings I have to observe them unmoved and in silence.

Right

I was filled with remorse guilt and suffering - all my doing and deed.

After 50 years of trying I do not wish to subdue my feelings with doings since they are strong like my bones that would remain after my death.

They shall escape after I am burnt.

For ever I shall remain wrong, it is impossible for me to right.

For ever I shall be suffering for guilt and it shall pile up till I am blind insensitive completely without joy.

Forever I am in hell.

I must adjust to hell as my permanent abode and not talk of my high pedigree, now this suffering and future far worse as they arrive every moment.

Why so much expenditure for keeping me in hell continually improving its torture menu so that I lose my mental equilibrium?

I am like cobra born with poison teeth to strike to kill. I can be never right. I must be killed at sight burn to go hell and kept there to be return again to do greater wrong. I can vere be right.

Blindness

I coming to know my blindness.
Thousands of years intelligence transferred to me are beliefs and visualization due my intelligence. If my beliefs are my blindness - my intelligence is nothing but stuffing myself in a dungeon. Rewards and glory further creates a race towards the same.
It is extremely difficult to go back to the fresh world of no belief where intelligence is not a bowl of soup one does not bother to taste. To day I know that I don't know is greater intelligence for me to attain.
It is intelligent to survive in whatever form is again many thousand years of activity for human. We have forts cities security systems, religion, many isms.
Occasionally, it comes to my mind my lack of intelligence is the only reason for my survival - truly. It is my act of unselfishness. My thought for rest - a world without me where I am most comfortable and supported by all except me.
Occasionally, I realize I am always wrong as me part of an organization, as a community, as a citizen....as human.
I am totally blind without senses - I must not move must not utter a word - this is the only action permissible to me. Lest I teach or create a wrong belief in any.
Mere recognition of my own blindness is partial removal of my cataract.
I have inherited this blindness from evolution and adopted from persisting knowledge of humankind and its believe system. There is no reason for nature to follow any hypothetical mathematical axiomatic knowledge system. There is no reason for nature though up anomaly. But I have hardly have an alternative since we have to abide by rational system - our neighbors.
Alternative of our mathematics is not conceivable that does not mean that does not exist. How much we may comprehend is doubtful. Alternative mathematics is the nature itself.

However what I am writing about is my personal guilt of living in the society and not conforming to that. I suffer every minute with guilt. That is of lesser evil to me since the alternative Life term in Dungeon.

Now something has dawned on me that I do not know it is provable or not - I had no choice really of doing any other thing than what I did always. In other words I merely carried out whatever I did.

I do not see any one or anything that is ME. Yet I have done non-stop from breathing to cursing to talking to thinking. I am driven to do things and I felt remorse and guilty after all my deeds and persists for years and years never without recess.

If there is me and there is always - I can't stop it not can I navigate it to right acceptable thinking and rational doing.

Perhaps all my doing in the past wrong, it is wrong now and shall be wrong in future always but I helpless.

Garavity

Contrary to day to day observations - 'apple falls to the ground and not fly upwards', there are many other things that don't. Hydrogen and helium do not stick to the ground but escape to sky.
I don't care about reasons since reasons can't be applied if one has no belief.
Zinia had undergone surgery in the mouth. She could not really talk or move much out of pain for five days. But she left on Friday on her seventh day to her friends. Yesterday I asked her to return home but she declined saying she is alright.
She has escaped.
The attraction of sky is far more than every other attraction - relations food drinks fame or permanency.
Freedom and independence is far more attractive than people.
Silence is far more attractive than words.
Idiocies are far more attractive than ideas.

Aim

I am sky and can't be otherwise.

My promise to myself and I must observe till I am no more: 

I perceive all as they are and do nothing. I exercise my will to remain silent always –

Especially now despite all loss pain suffering and dishonor, with no hope and time for recovery.

Theory: 
All perceivable is necessarily me and can't be otherwise. I can't perceive-ably exceed or escape sky. I am equivalent to sky!

sky

SKY

The real unlimited inescapable

in the atom molecule cell every where all float on sky

all trapped in sky can't escape

without any yet all came out of sky and float in it without escape

the art of disappearance too born in the sky and die

immeasurable independent endless permanent

I am sky

সে

অন্তরাল

সব প্রকাশিত

সব অপ্রকাশিত
প্রথম অদ্বিতীয় অনন্ত

যা পাই তাই প্রসাদ

যে খানে  আছি সেই প্রাসাদ
যা দেখি অভূতপূর্ব
জানিনা বুঝিনা

আমার  দরকার আছে 
সেটা আমার দরকারের শেষ 

আমি আমার সব কিছু
জীবন জগত জানা দায়িত্য সম্পদ  স্মৃতি বুদ্ধি দেহ মন আশা
অতীত ভবিষ্যত বর্তমান
করা বলা ভাবনা
প্রতিজ্ঞা
নিজের জন্য কিছু না রেখে
আমার সব প্রকাশ আমি সমেত
সম্পূর্ণ ভাবে অর্পণ করলাম

অন্তরাল

আমি
কিছু 
কেও 

সে শুধু শুধু সে

অন্তরাল

সব দর্শন ঘটনা চেতনা ভাবনা কর্ম সৃষ্টি
সব লাভ ক্ষতি খোজ অভাব আশা নিরাশা
সব ব্যর্থতা সফলতা অক্ষমতা
সব অতীত বর্তমান ভবিষ্যত
সব জগত ইতিহাস সম্ভাবনা
সব আমি তুমি তিনি
সব জীবন যন্ত্র বস্তু
সব বায়ু জল শক্তি বুদ্ধি স্মৃতি সত্যি মিথ্যা মায়া

সবার অন্তরালে
সবার একমাত্র কারণ
খুঁজে পাওয়া অসম্ভব
সব ঘটনাই বহিঃ প্রকাশ
তার আর কোনো প্রকাশ নেই
কোনো ঘটনা কম বেশি বা বদলানো অসম্ভব

অতীতের আগে ভবিষ্যতের পরে এখনের পিছনে
নেই নেই নেই
আছে সুরু আছে শেষ
না আছে তার আগে না আছে তার পরে
না কায়া মায়া বুদ্ধি স্মৃতি আশা ভাবনা আলো আধার দৃষ্টি শব্দ না বোধ না না না

আবার আবার আবার
সাজায় নতুন সাজে
নতুন অলংকারে সময়ে অমিলে সত্যিতে মিথ্যাতে সংসারে মায়াতে

অন্তরাল ই  একমাত্র বাস
নিশব্দ চির স্থির
অন্তরাল তার অন্তরালে কেও নেই কিছু নেই

অন্তরাল

সব প্রকাশিত

সব অপ্রকাশিত
প্রথম অদ্বিতীয় অনন্ত

যা পাই তাই প্রসাদ

যে খানে  আছি সেই প্রাসাদ
যা দেখি অভূতপূর্ব
জানিনা বুঝিনা

আর কিছু নয় আমার একমাত্র দরকার 
আমার শেষ
আমি 

আমি আমার সব কিছু
জীবন জগত জানা দায়িত্য সম্পদ  স্মৃতি বুদ্ধি দেহ মন আশা
অতীত ভবিষ্যত বর্তমান
করা বলা ভাবনা
প্রতিজ্ঞা
নিজের জন্য কিছু না রেখে আমার সব প্রকাশ
আমি সমেত
সম্পূর্ণ ভাবে অর্পণ করলাম
অপ্রাকাশিতকে
অন্তর্যামী সাক্ষী

অন্তরাল

home

am I at home with all undesirables so that I don't expect - good or bad time?

So that I don't have to write, think or say?

So that I don't have to prepare for my dooms day?

So that I don't engage in any preventive exercise today?

So that with my eyes open I finally see me without any protection or cover on my senses?

So that I see all loss with all eyes open my limbs unmoved lips tight senses all open and no muscle on alert.....I most curious not to miss a single moment of my dying enjoyment sensation feelings and grief....I am most sensitive living organism created to capture every moment of death (life) without prevention or protection as is.

I do this for me alone and not for good or bad for anybody.

hide

home is place to hide from all intimidating.

I like to hide be hind my thought keeping the same untouched by me any further
I like to hide be hind my doing keeping the same untouched by me any further
I like to hide be hind my perception keeping the same untouched by me any further

i have a drop screen behind the universe including nothing and akasha
it is invisible behind which i hide
it is art of hiding behind a speck of dust or nothing or Akasha
none can see me moving or is aware of my existence

I am behind now
I hide behind silence
I hide behind inactivity
I hide behind sleep
I hide behind dream
I hide behind thought
I hide behind sub-atomic particle
I hide behind wave
I hide behind my incapacity
I hide behind my uselessness
I hide behind my dishonesty
I hide behind my shame
I hide behind my fear
I hide behind old age
I hide behind pain
I hide behind my failure
I hide behind my life breath
I hide behind my incompetence
I hide behind my intellect
I hide behind my heart
I hide behind my body
I hide behind grief
I hide behind where I am most sensitive
I hide behind my memory
I hide behind all bad
I hide behind all unseen unheard unprecedented unimaginable
I hide cant expose see or assume
I hide behind boredom
I hide behind my anger
I hide behind my illness
I hide behind my deprivation
I hide behind my tiredness
I hide behind my exasperation
I am behind my fear.
I hide behind all events
I hide behind all abuse maltreatment deficiency and incapacity.

I am behind all!

I hide behind all thoughts perceptions and deeds.

I am hidden. I can't ever reveal me even if I try.

I am unreachable.

সবের পিছনে লুকোনো অপ্রকাশিত আমি খুঁজে পাওয়া অসম্ভব আমি শুধু জানি আমি কোথায় 

stop

i can't stop nothing from happening

joke
serious
my total elimination sooner or later

my ability to create future for me or any totally has disappeared

I am abandoned son of god

when would i stop trying to be normal and assume strength of god

creator

[creator there is.
count as i may to my ability
all is creator
expect as i may to my ability
motivate as i may to my ability
i am creator
after all
before all]

I am creator of supreme heaven for my eternal living in supreme and absolute joy that does not require any maintenance boundary defense or doing on my part; home is eternal and recycles every yester moment to fresh new absolute pure joy that was never before with future of eternal unthinkable unpredictable absolute pure joy moments happening without end

[I wish English language not so limited in vocabulary and expression and i could describe my home without a dot]

required

I am not required to see
I am not required to say
I am not required to do
I am not required to think

I am well taken care of by my creator before I see say think or do and I can do nothing better nor can I change.

Creator is the creator of the world, nothing is expected of me

I am hidden inside a hide nothing of me permeates through the hide

creator lives within me it has seen all and seeing all

AM

I am all .... I am none
I am present...I am absent...I am none
I am human...I am not human....I am none
I am male...I am Female..... I am none
I am living...I am non-living.... I am none
I am isolated....I am part of the world....I am absent
I am able...I am disable...I am none
I am bad...I am good....I am none
I am friend...I am enemy...I am none
I am dangerous...I am not dangerous...I am none
I am boss...I am sub-ordinate...I am none
I am known...I am unknown...I am none
I am silent...I am vocal...I am none
I am different...I am same...I am none

reality

চন্দ্র বিন্দু

I am out of world
untouchable
unreachable distance to change the course of the world or influence a dust of the world

if my path is in the world i can't depart from it no matter how much i may desire

no matter how much blow i can create mist around me not the world

every particle or entity if that exist in the world remain untouchable because of want of vocabulary i may say world is truly illusion that too mine alone and i no way to know its universality

i get thrilled whenever i think of my path (an illusion again of mine alone) it can't be without world - some one not me is creating the both for me alone

and if thee is by chance an world surrounding me - i m its center

all because of not me but the absent that created both

it is like universal studio ride into Jurassic park wearing 3 D glass surrounded by fictional creatures from pre-history.

illusion of time that never exist

my power creating illusion

here no word is spoken by any one or thought by anyone

here no one exist either

i create reality from words .... bat mat cat....mathematics drawings video cinema books

reality can't exist without me

i create reality out of nothing

now

now

unspeakable
untouchable
sparkling
stainless
not modifiable
perfect
timeless

cause of world

hopeless
unspeakable
untouchable
sparkling
stainless

impossible to change

absent

i m dead before i expect
i m dead before i remember
i am dead before I act to survive
i am dead before i try to survive
I am dead before I defend
I am dead before I regret
I m dead before I fear
I m dead before I grieve
I m dead before I feel ashamed
I m dead before I feel guilty
I am dead before I ask
I am dead before I blink
I am dead before I think
I am dead before I do
I am dead before I don't enjoy

i am absent
i am dead
i do nothing

I can't make me live in this world even for a moment.

responsible

there is no other entity besides me

i m one hundred percent responsible for

what I think

what i say

what i do

what i write

what i see

all is my mistake

even when i m let out

without reward or punishment

it shall be so for the eternity to come

it was so for all my past

it is so now

i can't escape

impossible

sometimes theory is needed

in order save many years or lives of mine in order to achieve somethings that is impossible to achieve ever as long as solar system exist or universe exists

we inherit certain property universe and there is no option to that

it is impossible to defend me

it is impossible to defend no me

me do not exist in this universe

while universe exists in me

me is not my concept

while i m hypothesis

while any is again my hypothesis as much as me is

while me as stratum is not hypothesis has to exist for universe in any form to exist even for a moment

so much so a moment can't exist without me

me is not part and indefensible

me is not eliminate-able or terminable

lives after life i may struggle to survive

while this struggle is futile exercise

i can't die i have no beginning and no end

while universe lives many times at my pleasure and causing my displeasure

i challenge my displeasure to eliminate me

immortal

immortal that was never born

there is no question of defending me

i can't be defended

i m indefensible

it is waste

ever since it was created

fun is watching its disappearance

or its continued existence

in the platter of immortal

mistake

Mistakenly i thought god is bounded

i further sophisticated my search for god as search for truth

i thought god needs support

however it is quite opposite god supports truth

truth can not exist without god's support

god even support false

at its whims truth breaks down

while god is everywhere

i m limited and confined to a point and immovable at the center of my world

i m suffocated and day light wiped out world

there is no option but leave me in dungeon to die and never return

never inquire about me

I live in open unbounded in-exhausting divine world of perfects

without me

abandon

I have abandoned my world

all is on their own

there is no place for me

there is none to listen to me

there is none remembers me

there is no evidence that I once lived in this world

there is no entry

i am abandoned outside

none is mine

nothing is mine

what can i expect

harmony

my world has a past that is any body's guess so much so it can be traced back to its present moment

i can appreciate its past and I can appreciate its future

i have option not to appreciate the present

timeless

i have option to improve upon now

creating new symphony of visual spectacle with my limited ability

over and above

that is pure delight without description of my senses

spontaneous eruption of

never before

harmony

without me

welcome

all is welcome in now as their home and they do not have to put up with me.

leash

i m leashed to a post

i can go any distance from the post

but it keeps me under total control

shows me what i m

what is my capacity

both are nothing

i have no option

but be silent

then says with a smile

do whatever you please

you can't do wrong