Absolute

i have to bear in silent

live

the true infinity has no cardinal without limit without return

it is supreme bliss joy for ever

all is joy and only joy and only joy and only joy

endless shower of joy

joy joy joy

infinite joy in all dimension

devoid of any shades or grades of superior inferior variety of joy

infinite supreme joy

সব আমার পরম আনন্দ

how long can I stop my self being drowned infinite attraction supreme joy that has stripped me of all my possession only left is me
i m surrounded by infinite joy

how long can i deny myself from sinking in bliss
i m struggling for survival
i do not know how to give in
i struggle till my last breath

No i don't have to die

all my past all memories are supreme bliss
all my possible future all expectations of the same is supreme bliss
all my perception of my present is the supreme bliss

i live in bliss supreme pure and infinte

আনন্দ

জগত ভালো সর্বসময় কোথাও কখনো কোনো খারাপ নেই কোনো খারাপের সম্ভবনা নেই
আমার প্রসংসা বা অপ্রসংশা করার কেও নেই কিছু নেই

আমার সব আনন্দ
সবের সবকিছু  সব সময় আমার আনন্দ
আমি আনন্দ
কূলহীন আনন্দ আমার চির নিবাস

সব সময়

আমার সব কিছু

সব ভাবনা সব দেখা সব করা 

সব না দেখা সব না ভাবা সব না করা

আমার আনন্দ

আমি যা ভাবি তাই আমার আনন্দ 

আমি যা করি তাই আমার আনন্দ 

now

now is past
now is future
now is the appearance of its creator
now is all

identity

place is here
time is now
i can't ask for change
nothing can be changed
all is as is
I must see and i must be allowed to see

no grief
no happiness
no boredom
no frustration
no anger
no fear

I must disappear without word
I must not prevent

creator is creation
actual is virtual

indivisible
identity

inconclusive

i can't attribute any success i may have is entirely due to me.
It was done by all but me
Even this piece of writing is not by me
i do not wish to take any claim as mine
i m just a hypothesis
entirely virtual
all is my hypothesis entirely virtual
actual has no word
only presence
it is my identity
nothing ever happens that is is not 100% done by him
it is not ever my will that is written on virtual wall
after my death in virtual
actual shall continue to write in virtual wall
it is impossible to prevent him
once written it can't be rewritten
it is always new without any previous

i m very upset
soham has gone without any warm clothing
he has not taken his cell
i can do nothing
even i being upset

rabindranath wrote 'se'
i have not read it
but heard many incaranation of the same
lila majumdar
budhdeb dasputa
thokon thakur
it may (not) appear in virtual
i have option to (not) wait

ink

what is the ink i write with?
what is my pen?
it is not blood it is nothing that is visible out side me
it is very internal and personal only me has it
i draw all  with this ink
it flows continuous non stop
it draws everything everyone
unless it is drawn in this ink i can't see anyone or anything
nothing exist otherwise it has to be drawn in this ink for me to see
i have draw it

all is personal composition of me for any to exist
none can enter my world without a passport drawn by me
i am so choosy

i have draw my admirer
i have draw my abusers
i have draw all for them to exist

ink is neuron
i do not know

private

I am incapable of preventing anything with my behavior thinking saying and doing.

Can I be partial?

Is there any reason for earth spinning?

gravity?

light?

life?

গৃহস্তকে  বলি সজাগ খাক
চোরকে বলি চুরি কর
পুলিসকে বলি চোরকে ধর
ডাকাতকে বলি গুলি কর
জজকে বলি বিচার কর
ঈশ্বরকে বলি ক্ষমা কর
আমার করার কিছু নেই
আমার কিছু নেই
আমি অবান্তর
আমার কোনো অধিকার নেই
আমার বাচবার বা আমাকে রাখবার কোনো উপায় নেই

আমি, আমি ভাবি যা আমি তাই
তুমি, আমি ভাবি যা তুমি তাই
সে, আমি ভাবি যা সে তাই
আমার ভাবনা চির অস্থির

আমি নেই ভাবনার বাহিরে এবং চির স্থির

one thing appears permanent
destructive nature of nature
its selection for procreation
the preference of survivors
the absence of tomorrow and yesterday
yet there is history and its recording even in the sky

permission

I have permission to see but not say think or do

I don't have to see

I have to see me what I am saying, thinking, or doing

I am watched by almighty

all

all all all is allowed to do anything nothing going to exceed now

all all all can do nothing unless it is explicitly allowed by now

all all all is empty space

impossible

I can't jump out of here and now

[i am partially visible camera man in a 360 degree fish eye photo of 'now' i can't have greater presence or lesser absence]

i m skinned alive layer after layer of me with tears shame fears angers flowing out

i am pasted in here and now

i can't protest

I have to wait till i vanish in the pyre of now

i am absent always

i can change none and nothing

enjoy

i enjoy
i enjoy my unhappiness as it is for ever
i enjoy my happiness as it is now and ever

absolute

my mother used to say one cant be a king without seeing a king

i say one can't be absolute without seeing an absolute

i have seen an absolute i m destined to be absolute

i am absolute

how many became absolute after seeing the same i m talking about

how many in his life time he created absolute

enough to keep the universe just now

at least absolute he created me

absolute

he has no need

he can attract people from many thousand miles tucked in some far corner of the world and make it appear all is accident

i was given one glimpse and a few words

i m changed forever

i can't have need

how long shall i have need

i m absolute

i challenge universe to displace me if his the power to eliminate me

he walks couple of miles climbs a hill bare footed to excrete in a secluded place in privacy at dawn before sun rise he is completely bare except six square inches of cloths covering his private parts

he takes bath in ice cold high velocity stream cleans his piece of cloths with soap

collects his letters

observes sun rise and attends to his duties answering questions asked

he has his bed of two blankets no pillow in a box

he has a steel tumbler earthen water pot pot of ink a pen a nail cutter a kerchief and loin cloth

he was there when I saw him 1978 he came then to meet me he vanished before 2000 when I came to meet him

iamindivisibleunionofall

watch

incredible

I have a watch
no
watch have me
it is incredibly accurate
never loses a moment
it is always now
it is incredibly durable
no metal in anywhere in the universe is as durable
it is incredibly dimension-ed
it is lesser than Euclidean point
it is incredibly crafted to hold all applications of the universe
it is incredibly source it energizes all the source of energy yet needs no charging
it is incredibly familiar
all is forced to see it all the time

indispensable

it controls every aspect of me
i forget what i have to forget
i remember what i have to remember
i eat what i have to eat
i drink what i have drink
i talk what i have to talk
i have to vomit what i have to vomit
i have to think what i have to think
i have to see what i have to see
i have to do what i have to do

i can't be rebel

impossible

it is invisible but lit the universe

visible

indra

with thousand sensors i am hugging earth
all my muscles are straining
i must quit
it is unbearable pain on my muscles
unbearable activity of my brain
devising algorithms to extend my tenure some how

encircled by future
i have no future
in my world

or

any other world

what a failure for one who set out as an rebel
the part is clear
it is happening
i must die since I have no future

the symptoms of death are:
bad taste
bad health
bad look
bad memory
bad intellect
bad wealth

no future - i can't foresee-ably extended beyond today
but i looking for a come back tomorrow with the help of almighty's backing
but i have no reason why an exception shall be made for me
when my lot is already decided
I have to face the burial
as is

ignorance

it is long long time that i left chasing knowledge in the conventional ways of university that proposes universality
i am chasing ignorance
just born's approach to knowledge without any learning but purity to consider all data write or wrong selective to make device
robot

for example I am going to introduce a robot in mars

what is mars' gravity terrain

how many pods or lifters automation should have
position of automation and control
failure recovery system
recovery of control
sub-controller to repair control
Repairable pods or limbs
Glue
Energy accumulation utilization
self duplication
optimization

poverty elimination

result

Result I know
my total freedom of doing and not doing
my present is paradise
I have no future
I don't have to talk
I don't have to move
I do not have to count
I have no resistance
I am floating
i am untouchable
I am final without legacy
all my deeds are final and without result
i do not have to talk think or do
i do not have to repeat ever

i love and express my love
whatever I get is love and expression of love

how far am i away

glimpse of paradise and its presence I see several times in a day
then again i hear heart beat
i taste my distaste
I am in a desert and seeing illusion of mirage
i am thirsty
i shall get water before i die but each moment is torture
it is fear of death before water quenching my thirst

what is that mirage
truth but i can't live up to that

i am god
what ever i think say and do is right
and i can never do otherwise
what ever I see is paradise
it can't be otherwise

Hindu mythology talks about paradise - a stable state
any one not harmonious in stable state false off into a net
maya
illusion of movement or instability
it can't really cure itself so easily
hallucination and and memory of paradise both frequently visitor

repair is complete when one again is god and resident of paradise among all gods

nothing has really changed except one is cured of hallucination

hallucination is nothing but a simulation run by one to predict success while it is not possible to simulate paradise

paradise has one rule of nonce
it never repeats itself but carries all in it without eliminating any or rather by eliminating all its moments are absolute but perceived differently for anyone engaged in hallucinating (carrying out simulation)

i do not have to make this any more clear than what paradise is

theory of nothing is its practice

gear

when the whole world has transformed into teethed clock wheels and gears due to my vast knowledge
there is a space within heart is well oiled nothing untouched
where i can only enter
by becoming nothing

i can't stop this constant clock work
there is no place for me

wrong

there is nothing wrong since nothing of that kind can happen
all is always right
ebola
isis
chhorda's untimely demise
my bad taste
soham's job
did's cancer
chhordi's selfishness
joya's lies

inside

I wear a crown of thorn inside my head
they are my dislikes
among other it is complete distaste for food
only thing i love is plain water with ice
if that too becomes distasteful
i have to die without water

then this horrible take over of world isis

the crown of thorn has developed under my skull
i am engulfed in it completely
i shall never know a moment of peace
hopeless living can't even patiently wait of death

rebel

i m rebel of all rebels
singleton
one hundred percent
unstable
living among all
conspicuously
non-conforming
i m resilience to all without exception
I do not make any adjustment to adapt
i m absolute automation never repeat and incalculable
even when i m boxed in iron chest without hole and thrown down volcano or ejected in space or thrown in ocean

i m incurable
i survive

belief

assumption or faith
I do not have to believe assume or faithful
Still I am
At the center of the world it is me
It is not my belief
it continues to be there and is there as long as i have consciousness
it goes linear goes any manner but it is central to my world and i see world going around me
i also go into simulated drive in my dream
like last night
I went into my selfish way to involve all to fetch money from a person little known to me to achieve my end
and i could not stop myself

I wonder my origin
earth or some out of unknown and never known kernel of universe
logic does not apply
any hypothesis is ok as good

I am incurably sick
I am not assumption while any assumption is mine
I am not explanation or derived out of logical conclusion
I am incomparably attractive all is joined to me by my power of attraction and goes around my axis without any scope of their liberation ever
It is too much an effort to keep all separated they are all together a ball or perhaps a point rotating or spiraling around me with no scope of any other existence
time to time it disappears in my without existence
contrary to belief time too has no existence and my assumption
sometime point void line or circle or any other visual object like doughnut

i m irrational the only irrational in the world and remain so without any other example

i have no option but in always in-confident and in the tinker-hook what is in store just now
whether i m already busted and never to see me again

i can't achieve any goal or aim

i m truly incapable

my genius shall remain undiscovered
since there is none is created

instead of an unknown calling all shots and taking nanosecond and nano-millimeter departure from universe course

i like to have faith on an absolute automaton that has a simple rule of nonce - take that option that was never taken

thinking

I am thinking and that I can do.
I sleep. I dream though I wish I do not. Like many things it is not in my control.
I have two choices but both of them unbelievable - I am absent and I am all by action.

The third option I am thinking is not trying to stop any process any one that includes me.

In other words how do I align with anything or anyone without being critical.

I can't be since I am a robot - I can't teach myself to be aloof immobile and mute and let my thoughts go past me without shaking me.

mute

I just can't say anything

• the person i am talking to is me - identity
• i as such don't exist and it is true
• truth is i don't enough even when I observed it for entire life - e.g. Sun or my palm
• i have nothing better to offer
• my words disturbs peace
• i am dream
• all is my dream

supreme

I must be me - I am all without exception - in silence and without movement - there must not be a hair separating me from any - all is my identity - there is no identifiable me in particular

I am supreme and I do not have any other identity

dream

I dream often.

When I wake it remains some moments to rediscover me.

That me is lower than what I assume to be.

It is an eye opener.

I become reduced in size.

One step towards my extinction.

Unlike all thinking I can't simply assume man woman interaction caused my birth. All knowledge acquired by my life time of experience. But what about the absorb-er or accumulator ia it body or part of the body.

It perhaps not - I in my dream is not my body. It is an identification with activity witnessed by its eye and extrapolation done by brain. Both being part of body assuming they are interaction of two beings.

I deride my thinking since by now I know it is insane machine. It is capable of deriving anything from anything.

I am fascinated by thought that I originated outside universe. I chose to inhabit a baby in womb. I am more than human being.

In the dream I was going over the surface of earth and seeing most disturbing changes on its surface. Nothing is in isolation it is caused by earth itself.

My focus shifted to earth.

It is live and has its mind to drape itself as it feels like with color atmosphere with organisms and land as it pleases. It further traps celestial bodies as it pleases but it is unlike any of them.

It came outside universe and it created the universe with its designers mind. It nurtured sun moon milky way galaxies nebula however many I or we identify.

If there is earth of similarity - I do not know - if there is then it different universe -

I can't dream not while I m on earth.

I am thoroughly planned and designed many earth years ago microscopically to enhance its surface for purpose only known to her.

why isis?

only she knows

it is dream no lesson learn except me is part of the illusion or dream