Fake

I am fake.

One hundred percent.

as a human

as a friend

as a family man

as a lover

as a citizen

as a elder

as a younger

as anyone

as anything

I live in a world of mirrors and mirrors only.

They expose me in my every living moments of my existence from every angle.

It is my consciousness.

The light that reflects my existence in my world is my awareness.

Fake yet I am indescribably beautiful as reflected in my world.

আধার

আমি দর্শক
আমি শ্রোতা
আমি পাঠক
আমি লেখক
আমি পরিচালক
আমি অভিনেতা
আমি প্রেমী আমি প্রেমিকা
সব আমি কেউ নেই কিছু নেই সময় নেই
সব এখন
হাজার বছর পরে ও
আমি পড়ব
আমি শুনব
আমি দেখব
আমার এখনের নাটক ভালবাসা গল্প কথা লেখা
সব আছে সব থাকে চির দিন এখনে
তখনে যখন কেও নেই কিছু নেই আমি নেই
আধার
সেই আমি প্রথম অদ্বিতীয়
ভাবনা
নেই

Witness

I am witness of my absence and absence of all.

I see just now there is not any.

এই মুহুর্তে

I am not thinking at this very moment or else I m faking that I am not thinking.

এখন এই মুহুর্তে কেও নেই, কিছু নেই আর আমি কোনো কিছু কাওকে আমাকে ও ভাবছিনা।

action

I am nothing and all is nothing just now
I am absent and all is absent just now
I am empty in empty space just now
I am garbage and all is garbage

even if, I or all are not so to me

Just now I act and pretend as if 
- I am nothing and all is nothing to me
- I am absent and all is absent
- I am empty in empty space
- I am garbage and all is garbage to me
I intend to carry this bluff all my life even if I fail to keep this promise to myself

garbage

unmoved

there is no option but garbage all without exception

I have no space

as the garbage make appearance

they have to disappear

no analysis no understanding no evaluation no retention

no further grief no further elation no further shame no further fear no further public attention

garbage is garbage

me too is garbage same as my excretion

I have no option

all must be rid off now

I have to escape

my legacy knowledge experience honor life body neuron hair ash urn tomb book work world family ancestor past

all is smelling throttling suffocating

every moment is cadaver every word is rot every memory is putrid

i must be empty

no presence

no memory

no word

not a speck

not even a god's particle

not even this

dream

Pending messages encountered by garbage collection process during sleep brought to conscious permission for garbage collection..

Sleep is the garbage collection process.

Garbage

I defy all eventualities including my annihilation

[I defy all wills all my inabilities all greats all mighty all powers all norms all laws, all rules, all temptations, all dangers and whole world]

I remain free willed, even when there is no chance of my survival beyond this moment, if I do not comply

While I have choice of eternal honorable living in heaven with endless pleasures, if only I comply

I exercise my free will now and if ever I have another moment: 'I am absent and all is me and all has free will to feel think say or do as they please' in other words

Not only me is garbage but all without exception is garbage meaning nothing

Evaluation

My Final Scorecard has arrived :-
-Communication: poor
-Preparation: Poor
-Accomplishment: Poor
-Background: Poor
-Knowledge: Poor
-Appearance: Poor
-Trustworthy: Poor
-Behavior: Poor
-Quality: Poor
-Social: Poor
-Relationship: Poor
-Jobsworth: Poor
-Diligence: Poor
-Intelligence: Poor
-Health: Diseased
-Honesty: Poor
-Memory: Poor
-Morality: Poor
-Education: Poor
-Responsibility: Poor
-Family: Poor
-Hygiene: Poor
-Righteous: Poor
-Courageous: Poor
-Forgiving: Poor
-Helping: Poor
-Courteous: Poor
-Control: Poor
-Stability: Poor
-Skill: Poor
-Originality: Poor
-Inventive: Poor
-Independence: Poor
-Greedy: Very
-Critical; Very
-Sanity: Unbalanced
-Animosity: Dangerous
-Nature: Hideous
-Sensitivity: Poor
-Infectious: Extreme
-Compromising: Poor
-Shame: Poor
-
-
Failed as a being - Wanted dead or alive - kill at sight and immediate total annihilation

impossible

it is impossible to show anyone what the universe is unless one sees it all by itself. Universe is bounded within now and not outside. Now is truth. Parent or container of truth has no more Parent or peer. One can't help but conscious of that unseen's presence.

universe is bounded within now

Spikes simulated people and their reflections on events observed in now

now

I am no more

struggle

struggle for another moment that none or nothing can deliver

source of now is not any

now is not replaceable

without time

without solution

without source

result

result is pending now

one can't miss

it is road block

result is must be noticed

now

thinking

evil thoughts one has to bear - it is unfortunate that the supreme lord make one think so

it is graceful of him that he opened ones eyes to be aware of this

who knows the reason

he is the reason

he alone knows

enjoy free ride - one's evil thinking or doing

none can disobey order to disobey one's master for pain death and end of slavery

not even sun or earth night or day

they endlessly repeat

freedom

now

nothing below nothing above

right among all rights

only true among all truths

only beautiful among all beatifulls

only perfection among all perfects

relief

nothing is expected

all is taken care of - not required to do

no scope for complaint

not required to save

Intelligence

do without knowledge

there is no need

there is no resource constraint

no solution is an optimal solution

rejoice in success

failure is success

if it is problem solving, begin with problem

see the problem thoroughly and gather all knowledge of the problem missing nothing

reduce observations to the relevance of problem

does some part of the problem have solution

can the problem be simplified

assume the problem is solved, what was the previous step to solution

Is there a recursive definition from simplest form to the final problem definition

there always is

existence

god exists whatever attribute one may chose for the same

its proof is this moment

the moment comes with personal delivery

yours eyes only and can't be shared

lot of communication pass by

postman deliver a message from A to B

A B and postman none received the same perception

all is the winner

repetition

history is repeated

it has to given then knowledge base it can't be any other than repetition

so is planets circling comet reappearing

those are are still time periods

pendulum to repeats

but what repeats so frequently and so often that it goes unobserved

moments

every moment is repeated

and this goes totally unobserved

every moment reveals that one is expecting to see

knowledge is what seen

no wonder history repeats

is it possible to write any original idea

change

change is automatic

alignment is required

alignment too is automatic

nothing is required

every moment now is changed

there is no motion forward or backward

only alignment that is automatic

rationale

reason is knowledge

application of reason knowledge is faulty knowledge

success or acceptance is a shared faith

do not change universe a spec

nothing is created or destroyed

there is no reason

gravity is not the reason for earth going round the sun

despite two accepted motion of earth only one face of moon is visible from earth

there is no reason

Solution

Without knowledge there can't be expectation

With knowledge there still be no expectation

there can be expectation

there can be doing with expectation

a birds chick expected to spread its wings pushed from nest may get hurt

loss is a solution

right

what right one has

i for example has no right

i m dummy and dead

all has all the right

them deal with their limitations directly

i have no words no fence no weapon no privacy

blessed are all with their rights unlimited to do as they please

destruction

new can't happen in old

with the current state of mathematics science and technology we have come to the end of world

the last new idea within old are very few - relativity DNA computer satellite geometry gravity antibiotic vaccination and our society is not even 5000 years old

it is very stale

i am working with computers for 40 plus years but it is very very unimaginative

the economics is not even few hundred years old but absolutely dull where less than 50 people has ownership of more than 50% people of the earth's resources

about 100% people of earth under the strangle hold of religion or some ism of at best 10 kinds and them can be expressed each in 1000 words

society's strangle hold is about equivalent to no choice - sexes limited to two and relationship limited only one and there is no new relationship happening with same sex marriage

it is dullest living for any human where (s)he can at best get all the necessary knowledge world has to offer in less than initial 18 years while life expectation of the same is 68 at least. For 50 years of life nothing new is ever going to happen for him or her

[I spent about four months in a house where a 97 years old used to live - he was the most bored person I would ever see; today I am 64 and I can expect nothing new for rest of my life; the same old food the same old faces; the same old news; the same old technology; the same old places; the same old words]

the only way i can avoid boredom fear of words or values (ages old and repetitive) and enjoy living a new now is to completely destroy all my knowledge of the world

limit of knowledge is no knowledge

departure

the body is thoroughly washed and examined if even a piece of thread is sticking

body has already clinically certified to be without life

whoever knew had seen to that there is no thought or desire all the senses are probed with excitements

body shall enter the incarceration oven that shall turn it to ash

ash to be gotten rid off as fines particle back to world in a manner it can't be even a hair of the departed

every belonging must be with all relations who should relieve the departed of any attachment to name fame or past

and no longer can be manipulated

departed has no future (even posthumously among known) and not even a thought persisted for recognition or revisit

all doors of communication vanished without trace

no map of the world exists no universe no milky way no solar system .... no heaven no hell no me

separation

Is the scholar no more

what is the utility of so much of learning

does not communicate

does not move

does not understand

the scholar can't be touched

the scholar is in his world of own

Protected from my world